I wasn’t nervous when the meeting started, but I should have been. My client was dealing with a serious power differential between their technical sales team (which “made the money”) and another team, a process group that was seen as a cost center—even though they were driving critical transformations in the business.
I’d supported the technology team as they sought to improve the speed and effectiveness of the sales team, and we wanted to share some of what we’d learned with a few senior leaders from the sales group.
One of the takeaways from our interview process was that real progress required technology and sales folks to work together collaboratively, as equals, and recognize that both supported the business.
Everyone joined the Zoom call on time—except the leader from the sales group (who is, of course, always very busy); he was 15 minutes late. No worries—I thought—I can talk fast. We’ll get through this.
Do you see my mistake?
I missed the power dynamic at play here. The sales guy was late, but I matched our cadence to his schedule.
The meeting got off to a bad start. I wasn’t surprised by the first reaction from the sales leader when I told him what I’d learned talking with the technology team: “Of course that’s a problem! We already know this.”
Resistance is interesting. It’s data. It’s something to be curious about and learn from. However, because I bent my plans to accommodate the sales leader’s schedule, we weren’t able to have the discussion about that resistance that we needed to have.
I help leaders find solutions to complex problems by leveraging our curiosity, asking questions, and exploring possibilities. Because I allowed the sales leader’s behavior to derail the meeting, I didn’t have time to ask these questions or get the meeting participants involved in the discovery process.
Frankly, this was my fault.
Every behavior in a system is promoted, supported, or allowed by the participants in the system.
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Some behaviors are promoted, like getting praise from your boss for working late nights to finish a project.
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Some are supported, like informally helping a colleague who needs to deal with a family emergency.
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Others are tolerated, like when leaders look the other way with a high-producer who is sometimes unpleasant or difficult to work with.
In this case, I let myself get sucked into the client’s system. I felt powerless—even though I knew my agenda and the areas of inquiry that would result in leadership support. I should have taken control, even if that meant rescheduling to ensure we had the time we needed to conduct the meeting properly.
Would that have delayed our process?
Absolutely.
Would it have been uncomfortable?
Maybe.
The point is that any choice has consequences.
But delaying the meeting or shifting the agenda would have been better than tolerating the “power over” behavior that I’d observed as I worked with the client.
The good news is that this conversation is more data, part of the work. That even I, as an outsider, get co-opted into these behaviors gives me a clue as to how strong they are. And that, ultimately, helps us move forward.
What about you? What behaviors do you see in your organizations? How do your actions (or inactions) create the culture that exists? Reach out on Twitter or LinkedIn and tell me about it, or if you want to have a longer conversation, click here to schedule an appointment! I would love to hear from you.
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