My five-year-old was under the table, snuggled in his blanket, sucking his thumb with his favorite stuffy.
Cute, right?
The only problem was that we were going to be late to school. Again.
So, I pushed. I cajoled. Maybe, in a moment of weakness, I even tried to bribe.
The worst thing is it seems like this happens every day.
One of the things I notice about life is that I’m often interacting with the world as I wish it was instead of the world as it is. That can be a pain in the ass.
I’ve heard this phrase in Buddhism as, “resistance to reality is the source of all suffering,” though dissatisfaction may be a better word.
I see this all the time in my approach to parenting. Boy, do I wish my five-year-old would move faster in the morning. Getting him out the door can be stressful, and ironically, that stress actually makes him move slower. Ugh.
So, why does it keep happening every day? Because I’ve been trying to push things forward as I want them to be instead of working with things as they actually are.
This happens in our organizations too—when we make changes to the ways we work, when we ask team members to take on new roles or responsibilities, or when we try to lead with a power-down approach.
The lesson in business here is about dealing with resistance, and today, I’m going to teach you a tool to work with resistance more skillfully.
Last time I shared with you the OODA loop — Observe, Orient, Decide, Act.
Externally, we can use the OODA loop to disrupt our competition by orienting ourselves around changes in the external world.
In this video, I want to share the “friendly” OODA loop—the use case of the OODA loop that applies to our own organizations. We can call on it when we’re leading a change that involves humans (i.e. a situation that can create resistance). It’s both useful as a planning tool and as a way to influence people.
By considering how people might be impacted by a proposed change and understanding their orientation, we as leaders can engage with them in a supportive manner and help their orientation align with our desired outcome.
When we start to see resistance as data about a problem and learn to work with the resistance we encounter, we’ll build stronger relationships and get more done. That means we can do our work and lead our teams with more ease. We get to solve bigger problems and have greater influence to really change the way our organizations work. That increased effectiveness gets us noticed and can bring us even more satisfying work, promotions, wealth, and ease.
The friendly OODA loop can really help you understand your impact on others and work around resistance to get collaboration and buy-in. Working skillfully with resistance is one of the most important abilities a modern leader needs.
If you want more resources on how to better work with resistance, I invite you to watch my free video on Understanding the Levels of Resistance. It’s short and it sheds light on the different types of resistance you might encounter from shareholders or people on your team.