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Are you daunted by the complexity of your work?

“So Sarah, you’re leading your organization through this big, complex transformation. Does that feel daunting?”

 

“It is! Oh my gosh, it’s so daunting!”

 

I distinctly remember my first conversation with Sarah, a capable leader who would become a longtime coaching client. Sarah was tasked with changing how her organization built software. She worked for a large and successful manufacturing company that used a host of legacy systems and processes. To compete in a rapidly changing competitive environment, the CEO and board of Sarah’s company recognized the need to rebuild their systems, and they tapped her to lead the transformation.

 

Common Traits of Successful Leaders

 

Like Sarah, almost every leader I work with has made it to where they are by having a solid foundation of technical skills. Sarah has a finance background, thinks fast, and is good with numbers. When we started working together, she told me she feels most comfortable working in a spreadsheet. Other clients shine as lawyers, engineers, or coders. They are all good at coming up with answers to problems. I bet you are, too!

 

Complex Problems vs. Complicated Problems

 

On the one hand, the ability to solve complex problems is a superpower. But, as you progress on your leadership journey, it can also be a liability. Leaders like you are asked to solve increasingly complex problems. Complex problems aren’t just bigger versions of complicated ones. They can’t be easily broken down into smaller, simpler problems. They have unpredictable outcomes even if you deeply understand the underlying principles. They lack a single solution, and the problems change as we tackle them, so they require flexible problem-solving approaches that account for emergent patterns.

 

The “Golden Age of Complexity”

 

All of this means that we can’t deliver a neat, tidy solution. These problems are beyond the ken of any single person or team to solve. They are chaotic (in the sense that small, impossible-to-track details matter). They require others to co-create a new reality — a bold and daring act. 

 

In Meltdown, we wrote about the arrival of the Black Death in the middle ages. In October 1347, a fleet of ships carrying infected sailors arrived in Sicily. Many sailors were already dead; others were coughing and vomiting blood. The epidemic — which would go on to kill tens of millions of people — moved rapidly along new shipping and trade routes. It spread through populations newly concentrated in cities. But we wouldn’t develop the technologies of epidemiology, antibiotics, or sanitation for centuries. We didn’t even have a theory of germs! This mismatch between challenge and tools led one historian to call the middle ages “the golden age of bacteria.” Today, we are in a golden age of complexity.

 

Challenges in Modern Leadership

 

I suspect that most of you are rooted in organizations that want to solve problems faster — when slowing down and deepening our understanding is what’s needed. Consequently, we face pressure to move faster, technologies that demand that we’re “always on,” and organizations that frequently shift priorities. Many of us work for bosses who model management-by-telling instead of leadership-as-listening.

 

The Importance of Vulnerability and Openness in Leadership

 

True leadership is fundamentally an act of vulnerability and openness. It’s about being curious about our impact on others so we can understand how we can serve them. We need space, time, and new ways to help us think and lead. Not many of us learn how to build solid relationships, facilitate meetings, work with strong feelings (our own and others!), delegate tasks, accept feedback, or work with an executive assistant to free up our calendars for our most important work.

 

Overcoming the Challenges: Sarah’s Transformation

 

So if you feel daunted, I want you to know that it’s not your fault. You are being asked to do a lot while facing forces and trends that are outside of all of our controls. A few weeks ago, Sarah and I wrapped up our work together. In leading her organization’s transformation, she herself transformed. Even as she was promoted to a more senior role with more visibility and more significant challenges, she told me that she’s never felt more confident.

 

She’s still a spreadsheet whiz, but she’s more comfortable wading into ambiguous problems that can’t be solved with Excel. She’s building stronger relationships with those around her. She’s learned to use curiosity to shape the direction of her organization and succeed in her role. And she’s led her growing team through a challenging reorganization with poise and composure.

 

Sarah’s journey makes me feel hopeful, and in the near future, I’ll write more about some of the specific approaches she took in our work together. 

 

But what about you? Which of the challenges above resonated with you?

 

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How do you get things done when you’re not in charge?

How often do you feel powerless at work? Like you’re being asked to do something that you can’t actually accomplish given your position and the rules around how your organization works.


If you’re like many of the leaders I work with, you’re often accountable for creating results beyond what’s under your direct control. And you’re embedded in a culture that demands answers to complex problems, like, yesterday.


That’s a paradox because having answers doesn’t actually help you influence others. In many cases, showing up with an answer actually creates resistance.


I run a monthly coaching group called Lead Curious that works with this challenge. Why is it called Lead Curious? Because the most effective way to expand your influence is by asking curious questions.


It seems counterintuitive, but it’s the secret weapon at the heart of my work with leaders of the world’s biggest and most interesting organizations.


If you’re trying to influence someone, you have to start by understanding what they care about. If you’re asking someone to do something for you, or give up something that they value, you need to build trust so that you are on the same team.


How can you do that?


Share your agenda… but start with theirs.


You have an agenda. Share it, but don’t hold it tightly.


“You probably know that I’ve been asked to support better collaboration across our teams, but before we get to that, I’d like to understand a little bit more about what’s up for you. What are the most important things you’re working on right now?”


Acknowledge challenges without offering solutions.


Many cultures don’t support this behavior, but it’s so important. You can even acknowledge those norms as you seek support:


“I know we love solutions. I wish I had a solution for this, but I feel stuck. What do you think are some of the barriers to collaborating?”


Name things, particularly feelings (and be curious about how those feelings land with others).


This one is my favorite because it is so simple. Sometimes simply saying things out loud helps us shift the conversation. For example, if you’re working with another team that appears to agree about an issue in principle but drags its feet on implementation, you can name that:


“We’ve all said that we agree that more collaboration is better, but I’m worried we’re not taking meaningful steps to resolve this situation. Do you all share that worry?”


It can be hard to be the first person to show vulnerability in a work culture that still considers it a weakness, but it’s disarming, and it builds trust—quickly.


When you can let go of showing up with the right answer, you can start to grow your influence and co-create solutions to complex challenges faster. You’ll learn that you have more power than you think you do.


There’s no trick to these approaches—but that doesn’t make them easy. They require practice and the willingness to experiment. So forward this to an interested colleague, find a good coach, and start practicing.


And if you’re interested in practicing these approaches with fellow leaders, the next session of Lead Curious will launch in late 2022. Stay tuned here.

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The Subtle Art of Disappointing People

Leaders these days face a constant struggle to manage their energy.

 

For many of the leaders I work with, an onslaught of meetings obliterates time for focused work or sustained discussion.

 

For many others, an inordinate amount of energy goes into managing other people’s reactions. Predicting, like a chess master attuned to relationships, how others will feel about their decisions. Not just their bosses or peers but the people they lead, too.

 

In particular, this shows up when I’m working with leaders who are guiding change in their teams.

 

Change is hard. It involves shifting from a known state to an unknown one, from certainty to uncertainty.

 

And it involves disappointing people.

 

Disappointing people doesn’t mean being insensitive to what others want. But it does mean not owning their reactions—as strong as they may be—when they don’t get what they want.

 

I recently worked with a leadership team of a support function that had been working in an unsustainable way. The services they provided to their internal customers were broad and bespoke, and the team lacked a structured workflow. As a result, their team was getting burnt out and lacked the bandwidth to tackle the strategic work needed to improve their workflows.

 

But even in this context, leaders were worried that a shift to a new way of working might create fear and insecurity. Some employees liked the way they worked because they got to show up in heroic ways for their internal customers, getting things done at any cost. Others feared that, after restructuring, there wouldn’t be enough work to justify keeping them around.

 

Rather than get stuck predicting reactions to a change, this leadership team ran a participatory process. They shared the problem as they saw it and got curious about the perspective of their team. They outlined new ways of working, seeking input from the team and their internal clients.

 

Ultimately, they made a decision about how to move forward. They were open about the fact that they didn’t know exactly how things were going to play out and that they would learn and adjust over time. They were also clear about their decision.

 

Rather than managing everyone’s reactions, they used what I call strategic disappointment to move forward with clarity.

 

They shared that some folks would not be able to do their job the way they always had: Heroes couldn’t be heroes anymore.

 

They acknowledged that not everyone would like that—and that they were OK with disappointing people because they thought it was ultimately in everyone’s best interests.

 

And, since they had been asked their views along the way, people were mostly OK with that. They were participants in the process so, even if the outcome wasn’t the one they wanted, they got it. This was as true for the team as it was for their internal clients.

 

Instead of tying themselves in knots, trying to please everyone and manage to exception, the leadership team moved forward with energy.

 

The benefits of disappointing people do not just emerge during change. When you know that you’re going to say no to something—to a team member’s bid for a new role, to a hiring candidate you don’t think is the right fit, or to a request from a cross-functional partner—channel Nancy Regan and just say no.

 

Perseverating drains energy and serves no one. As the Dali Lama (supposedly) said, “Resistance to reality is the source of all suffering.”

 

What about you? Do you struggle to disappoint people?

 

If so, how might you make a shift so you’re managing your energy instead of others’ expectations? Email me at [email protected] and let me know.

 

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