I feel vulnerable telling you this, but there have been periods in my life where I’ve eaten a lot of buttered toast. At night, after a long day at the office, I’d get home and just devour toast with too much butter. As I’m eating the toast, I wouldn’t say I’m particularly happy about it.
Eventually, I hit what I now call my “Peak Toast” period, eating six, sometimes seven slices a night.
It was getting out of hand.
The Paradoxical Theory of Change
During this time, I was also learning about the Paradoxical Theory of Change, the concept that change happens when you stop focusing on the person you want to become and instead turn your attention to who you are now, and the reasons for your current behaviors. By paying attention to your present experiences, thoughts, and feelings, you can learn new ways to support the hidden motivations behind your behaviors, and ultimately, the change will occur as a natural process.
This way of looking at my problem helped me discover the reasons behind my actions—helped me to ask myself, “Alright, let’s make this real. What’s the value I get from eating all this toast?”
If you’ve found yourself wrestling with behaviors antithetical to the person you want to be and want to hear more about what the Paradoxical Theory of Change can teach you about leadership, watch my video: Peak Toast.
The Paradoxical Theory of Change isn’t just a powerful tool for self-realization, it can also help you work through situations in the workplace where you are running into resistance from others.
Are you trying to drive organizational changes, but team members or stakeholders just aren’t there with you? Pay attention to the Paradoxical Theory of Change and turn your attention to the behaviors you see right now instead of focusing solely on the changes you’re driving.
Curious how you can enroll your team in your change vision? So many leaders I know struggle with team members and stakeholders who either don’t see the vision or don’t like it. They encounter resistance. Some of my most impactful work comes from helping leaders develop the skills of influence they need to create cohesive, empowered teams. It all starts with learning how to work with resistance effectively. My free video Understanding the Levels of Resistance teaches you some of my best strategies for working with resistance. Download it now.