One of my friends and clients is the founder and CEO of a medium-sized, financially successful tech company. He’s kind and witty and down-to-earth, and I like and admire him a lot.
A while back, he was part of a conversation I facilitated about the nature of leadership, particularly when there is great uncertainty in your world.
There were about a dozen participants, and many shared their experiences. At one point, I turned to my friend and asked him if he, as the CEO and chairman of his company, felt like he was in charge.
He laughed, a bit chagrined, and said, “Of course not.”
Then he paused and got a bit quiet.
“You know,” he said, “this conversation is making me realize how afraid I am of being truly consultative. I’m worried that, if I really come to people without knowing the answer, they’ll think that I’m stupid.”
My friend is a powerful person. He runs a successful company. He has lots of resources at his disposal. But that does not make him feel safe. Those stark facts, facts that we could write in black ink on a fresh sheet of lined paper, do not make him feel safe. They don’t make him feel like he belongs. And they don’t create a sense of control.
Over and over, in myself and in the people, teams, and organizations that I work with, this fact becomes clear: success does not create a feeling of safety.
I think that this is a function of living in a world that measures and constantly compares everything, a world that pushes us toward scarcity. I’m a rich white American male and I’m always worried that there won’t be enough: food, space, housing, gas, power, water, etc.
What makes me feel safe is being in the moment. In the moment, there is always enough. When I notice the world that I’m actually standing in (rather than the world of my fears, projections, and what-ifs), it’s clear that I have enough in that moment.
What about you? Do you feel like you have enough? What makes you feel safe? Email me at [email protected] and let me know.
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